


Eat Sleep Dance Repeat

by Kleiol



Category: Backstage (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Body horror tw, F/F, kind of, mentioned in passing - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:45:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7326130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleiol/pseuds/Kleiol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ballet is my life, eat sleep dance repeat.”</p><p>The first time either of them is asked out is the seventh grade. It’s Vanessa. Of course it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys! This got way out of hand but at the same time nothing like how I wanted it to be. Second chapter is the extended version with the title in it. I put it in a seperate chapter cause although I like it, it annoys me, because I rushed it but I know that if i put this down I'll never pick it up until like the middle of the school year/ Anyways, enjoy!

“Ballet is my life, eat sleep dance repeat.”

The first time either of them is asked out is the seventh grade. It’s Vanessa. Of course it is. 

It happens after ballet practice, and they’re walking towards the door of the studio, sweaty and exhausted but with a happy tingling in their bones. Carly feels like she could’ve danced forever, the feeling invigorating, shooting down to her toes with a happy lilt in her step. She looks over at Vee, and sees that she’s still debating on whether or not to get ice-cream, and Carly can’t help to smile brilliantly at her. She doesn’t know why, but she’s been doing that a lot more often, just from looking at her. She doesn’t hate it. It’s just rather weird. 

Just as she opens her mouth to tell her that yes, they should get ice-cream, someone clears their throat just as they’re reaching the door. They turn around in unison, and Carly’s heart drops and her smile dims, while a tentative smile springs to Vanessa’s face. It’s Dylan, the guy who’d been assigned Vanessa’s partner weeks before. He’s older, by about a year or so,  and shows a real interest in Vanessa, which is enough to make Carly immediately dislike him. She feels bad about it, because the guys done nothing wrong. And Vanessa and him are partners. But she can’t shake off the feeling of something gripping her heart, and a ball in her throat whenever she sees him. 

“Eh..,um,” He eyes drift over to Carly from staring intently at Vanessa, “Can I talk to Vee for a sec, alone?” 

“Um. Yeah.” Carly cleared her throat, turned around, looked at Vee, and tried to conjure up the same amount of excitement she saw on her face. Considering the way her friend brightened, she’d succeeded. She smiled at Vee, then pushed through the double doors. 

;

They came out thirty minutes later, and Dylan seemed surprised to see her still there, but he just nodded at her, snuck one last look at Vanessa and left. 

She felt dumb, suddenly, for waiting, but it only lasted for a second before Vanessa was squealing and grabbing at her arms, bouncing slightly. 

Her smile was blinding as she said, “He asked me out!”

The lump from earlier that had since dissolved in the time Dylan was  _ asking Vanessa out,  _ came back, nearly knocking the breath out of her. She felt many, many things, new and fearful, rise up in her throat, but she swallowed them, pushing forth a smile she hoped was akin to how a  _ normal  _ friend would smile. 

Why wasn’t she?

“So!” She said, maybe a tad too loudly. They both cringed, but she plowed on, “What’d you say?” She tried for excited, but to her ears it came out tight and strained. 

Vanessa’s smile dimmed, and Carly’s heart seized for one fearful moment. 

“Are-?” 

“Did you say yes?” Carly breathed. 

Vanessa frowned, and then shook her head. “I told him I don’t know, that I would have to think about it.” 

She paused, looked around, noticed that the sun was going down and began to walk. Carly fell in next to her. No words were exchanged, because she didn’t know what to say. She felt an unbearable sense of relief that Vanessa hadn’t replied, but also fear, for the fact that because she hadn’t given an answer, it was not yet rejection. 

In the recesses of her mind, she longed for it to be rejection. But she pushed the thought back to where it belonged as Vanessa opened her mouth. 

“Cee, what do you think I should do?” 

Carly took a deep breath, closing her eyes. The ball grew again, and how she was hating that ball. She felt like she wanted to cut her throat open and take it out. 

Cee looked up at the sky, forcing the question out. Something was wrong, the iar felt entirely too somber for Vee having been just confessed to, and they both knew it. They both knew it was her fault. But before she could pretend to be happy for her, she had to say it. 

“I don’t know, but, why didn’t you say yes? Immediately, I mean-.” She laughed in what she hoped was light and not self-deprecating as it sounded to her ears. 

“It’s  _ Dylan.”  _ Who was older, and hot, and well-known and sweet. 

“I don’t know, I just feel like-. It would get in the way, you know?” 

“Of Keaton.” Carly stated, nodding. The ball loosened, and Carly took in a deep breath of air. 

“ _ If  _ I even decide to try out next year, I just-I want to be prepared. No distractions…” 

Cee bit her lip, “But?” 

Vanessa grinned at her as they neared her home, “Like you said, it’s  _ Dylan.  _ I’m a little willing to let him distract me. And he’s probably headed there too. He’s good enough.” 

“Right.” Carly replied stiffly. 

“Anyways,” Vanessa said, walking up to her door, “I’ll call you later, then?” 

Carly wanted to say no, knowing that the conversation was going to be about  _ Dylan.  _ But she grinned, “Yeah!”  And then turned away, walking to her home. 

On the way, the ball tightened. A few tears slipped out. 

She didn’t want to think about why. 

 


	2. Extended Version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second time either one of them is asked is in eighth grade. 
> 
> It's Vanessa. 
> 
> Of course it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolol i had another version of this chapter posted but i deleted it because the way i ended it haunted me in my sleep. Anyways, enjoy!

“Hello?”

 “Cee...I think I’m gonna say yes.”

“Oh.” Cee said, unsurprised to feel her mood plummet. It happened often over the past three days, with as much as Vee talked about him.

“Th-That’s great! How are you going to tell him?”

“I-I was thinking about meeting him face-to-face….Cee, would you come with me?”

“Oh I-um.” Cee hesitated, before deciding, this was absolutely something that she could not do. After she said yes, Dylan would probably want to-.

“I kind of have something going on,” Cee looked back at her weights and the box she used for step-ups. She wasn’t lying.

“Oh-well!” She said, her voice gaining excitement, “I guess I’ll go call him, then. Cya later, Cee.”

As soon as she hit end call, Carly plowed right back into her work out.

She’d heard somewhere that endorphins were supposed to make you happy.

She didn’t want to think about the reason she was sad.

 ;

“Mom.” Cee said softly, staring into space while her mother braided her hair and her two siblings ran around in front of her feet. The day before, she’d went with Vee and Dylan as the third wheel to their highschools’ football game. She doesn’t even know why anyone bothered to go, they always lose.

( “If you’re going with Dylan, why are you inviting me?

Vee brushed her arm softly, “Because, it will be fun. Plus,” She grinned, “Dylan’s friends would be there, maybe one of them and you could-” )

“Am I depressed?” 

Her mom stopped braiding her hair, and the world tilted, but didn’t stop. And the T.V kept playing, and her father kept rummaging around somewhere, and her siblings were still playing, and Vee was still with Dylan. But something had changed. Something had clicked when she said it aloud, and her eyes welled up with tears before her mother even said:

“Probably.”

 Ohhh….” She gasped, hand going up to cover her mouth, before sliding upwards to wipe away her tears. She grit her teeth and said again, “Oh.”

And that was that.

;

Eight months into their relationship, Dylan tried out for Keaton.

He didn’t get in.

A month later, he broke up with Vanessa.  


(“Cee,” She wailed, burying her face into Vanessa’s stomach. She ignored how her heart flipped and focused on the sorrow exuding from her best friend.

“He said-he said, he didn’t want the same thing happening to me! But there’s two months until school begins again, and then _we’ve_ got eight months until try outs! I have enough time to practice and be his girlfriend!”

Even after all these months, the ball tightened at the reminder that Vee _was_ his girlfriend. A girlfriend. Someone’s girlfriend.

Not hers.

She waved the thought away. )

;

The second time either one of them is asked is in eighth grade.

It's Vanessa.

Of course it is.

(“No.” She says firmly, not allowing Carly to leave her place beside her with a firm grip on her arm, “I’m sorry, Josh, really.”

Carly looks at Vanessa’s hand on her arm, and at the expression on her face and her heart swells hopefully. Even though she knows-no way, no way, no way.

“I might be...trying out for a prestigious school next year. If I want to be prepared, I need to Eat Sleep Dance Repeat. No relationships. Sorry.” She says, and then they’re off.

Carly’s heart and head goes through a flux of emotions. Her head spins. She doesn’t know what to think, only she’s cherishing that for now, Vanessa is-

Not hers.

Never hers.

But Carly is first priority after Keaton. 

And it's close enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I love how you can see my work ethic deteriorating throughout the fic. Leave a comment!


End file.
